Saturday, August 22, 2009
Random thoughts from people our age...
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV.. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner
Sunday, August 16, 2009
So last night the family and I went to see the new GI Joe movie. I am completely up in the air about this movie. I don’t want to pan it because it wasn’t a bad movie. Actually, it was worth the fifty bucks it cost to get three adults and four kids into a movie. The effects were awesome and so were the action sequences. The cast was easy on the eyes. The thing I am having a problem with is the dialogue and to an extent the acting. Yes, I went into this knowing this is a movie based on a cartoon based on a plastic action figure. I guess what I am having a problem with is there are some really good actors in this film and they were cringe worthy at times. This movie could have been really, really good if the script had been written better. You could use all those cheesy lines like ‘Go Joe!’ and ‘The Joe’s are trapped. We have to get them.’ in a well written script. This movie had a good story. I guess you could say it’s like looking at a piece of chocolate cake and it looks so good. When you take a bite though, it’s like eating a sponge that has been soaked in motor oil.
I think I may be a Gleek. What is a Gleek, you ask. Well, I think a Gleek is someone who loves the show Glee. I think I may love Glee. Why? I cannot say for sure. The pilot was incredible. You got to know most of the cast and kind of got a back story. It ended with the cast doing a great cover of Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believin’. On the surface, it looks like a High School Musical take-off and maybe it is. If you have seen the clip that made it on the web today of the cast doing Salt n’ Pepa’s Push It, you will know this ain’t any Disney knock off.
This show has the possibility of going horribly wrong. Anyone care to remember Cop Rock? It seems to me like someone has finally gotten it right, though. There is a strong story from what I can get from various clips and the pilot. Not only does it appeal to the teens who are going to fall in love with Cory Montieth but I think it will appeal to adults who are looking for a mature version of HS Musical and who are too young to get into the musicals from the Forty’s(not that there is anything wrong with the musical movies from the Forty’s). Criminal Minds is the only show of note that is on during Glee’s time slot. It is very possible this show is going to be a hit. I can tell you it is not leaving my TIVO. I am really excited about this show.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
It has been a long week. My computer has developed the creeping crud. I have it to where it will function most of the time but I still cannot watch videos. It is very annoying since there are good ones out there with Comic Con Videos popping up and the TCA videos up. I have had time, though, to go through TIVO and catch up on shows I recorded and haven’t gotten to watching yet. I am sorry I didn’t watch them sooner.
I would be remiss in not mentioning Paula Abdul leaving Idol. I have no thoughts on the matter, really. I am not an Idol watcher nor am I a Paula fan. Also, why in the world would Katherine Heigl bad mouth her paycheck??? I am not a Grey’s watcher either but come on…bad mouthing your meal ticket will get you in trouble eventually. I am sure they can find some creative way to kill her off if she keeps it up.
Ok, so I began telling you all about the shows I watch and why. It obvious no one is interested but I am going to battle through.
Fringe: I am bringing this one back up again because I finally finished it(I think). Holy Hoppin’ Snot! I was amazed at how they finished this up. Yes there was the signature gruesomeness and seemed more gruesome than many of the episodes. There was also the reveal that PETER IS DEAD…What the frak? Who have we been following all season? Is he a clone? Did he come from another dimension? This show has captured my interest and I cannot wait for the new season.
Dollhouse: This show started out slowly. The first episode was a little lame but boy did it pick up speed. I love this cast! They work so well together and there were things I just didn’t expect. I never saw Paul Ballard’s somewhat attractive neighbor was a doll. Also, his confidential informant is a doll. They were really manipulating him and I still am not sure why. I have two more episodes to go and I am anxiously waiting to watch them. This show is worth a better timeslot.
Supernatural: This is actually the very first show I ever watched online. I was hooked from the first episode. This show will often scare the bejesus out of me. There was one episode that scared me so bad I had to watch it during the day with people home. There are so many pluses to this show. First and foremost, Sam and Dean are HOT. I cannot be the only woman(and some men)who pause when either Sam or Dean are shirtless and the dirtier and sweatier the better. Sorry, had a moment. Anyway, I love how they tackle urban legends and other baddies(who knew angels could be so bad?).
Eureka: This show is almost a guilty pleasure. It makes me so happy. It was smart for SYFY to pick it up again. I always find myself looking forward to summer just for this show. It is a great premise having a town full of genius’ and the sheriff is average. I like the blend of funny and drama. It gets annoying the obvious product placement. They do make it funny but sometimes I don’t want to think of commercials. Still, all in all, good show with a great cast.
Warehouse 13: The premise of this show interested me a great deal, so I was kind of excited. Then the first episode aired…and I wasn’t really feeling it. The second episode made up for all the shortcomings the pilot had. I love the chemistry the whole cast has. Pete and Myka are two characters that truly complement each other. As the highest rated show on SYFY right now, I think this show is going to be around for a while. As big as the warehouse is, I think we will have lots of things for Pete and Myka to investigate.
Leverage: I kind of fell into this show. I happened upon it online and I became hooked. This modern day Robin Hood tale introduces us to all sorts of bad guys each week and the folks they have scammed. The Leverage team finds creative ways to con the money out of the unsuspecting very rich bad guys. Each main character has a special skill that contributes to each con they have and while they don’t always work well together, they get the job done. The writing and the acting on this show is solid and it doesn’t appear to be getting stale.
Sanctuary: I am unsure of this show. I like some episodes and don’t care for others. The whole idea behind this show is Dr. Helen Magnus runs a ‘sanctuary’ for abnormals or humans with special attributes, both mental and physical. They try to protect everyday people from the abnormals and help the abnormals assimilate. If they can’t they live in the sanctuary. There are good abnormals, bad abnormals and the prerequisite evil corporation trying to take over the world. I watch this more for my husband then for me. I love the cast. Honestly, any show with Amanda Tapping in a starring role is good for me. It just gets a little too sci-fi for me, at times.
South Park: This show has its moments. I love its commentary on society. It truly takes no prisoners. Some of the episodes are downright stupid. Others have me rolling on the floor. When it first came out it was shocking, and while it has lost a little of its edge, it still has its unique way of commenting on society.
Reno 911: I have no idea why I watch this. This is another show my husband likes and I watch it for him. It is rude, crude and it makes law enforcement look stupid. I guess it is how some of us see law enforcement. Not sure. Again, it is a car wreck, I can’t look away from.
Simpsons: Who doesn’t love the Simpsons? This staple on Fox has been around for 20 years and doesn’t seem to be getting old. Truly, even if it was cancelled tomorrow it would live on in infamy in syndication. It is nice to be able to sit down with my kids and watch something they find funny and I find funny(some of the time).
Family Guy: This cartoon is not something I watch with my kids. Most of the episodes I find just not appropriate for them. They love the slapstick but they just don’t get the situations. Heck, sometimes I don’t get it. It is worthy of its Emmy nomination because the writing is good. It is great satire for our society. Just not my favorite show. Another one my husband enjoys.
Off the top of my head, that is all I can think of. I am not sure what I am going to add for the new season if I add anything. Understand, I am not saying I am any expert in television. I am more of an arm chair critic. I know what I like and why I like it. I am always up for something different and I will always admit to being a geek.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
CSI: The Las Vegas Crime Lab sees some dark stuff. The bloodier the better. It never seems to bother the CSI's either. I have always enjoyed this one and am proud to say I have seen every episode since the premiere. It broke my heart to see some of the original cast leave but I understood. Gary Dourdan had problems and I could see why CBS and the producers of this show felt they had to seperate themselves from it. Also, I can understand after working so long on a series why William Petersen felt the need to leave. I am enjoying the new cast members and am getting used to them. I am really looking forward to seeing the new season.
CSI: Miami: I honestly have no idea why I still watch this. I began to see the ridiculousness in the season opener that took Horatio and Eric to Rio and Horatio stood under that HUGE statue of Jesus on the hill above Rio. What the heck is he trying to say? I also LOVE the Superman pose he strikes over the weeks dead body with his Ray Bans on. Then we move onto the rest of the team. Poor Ryan has more problems than Carter has liver pills and each one should get him fired but he never does. Horatio swoops in and saves the day. Eric's father is in the mafia. And Calliegh investigates fires in designer white pant suits in F*** me heels. I think this show is like a car wreck; I just can't look away. Oh yeah, lets not forget the episode with the Tsunami...
CSI: NY: Of all the CSI's, this one has hands down the best looking cast, in my opinion. It had a rough start, the roughest of all of the CSI's but it has come into its own. It took the uniqueness that is New York City and capitalized on it. They also did something I never in a million years expected: They listened to their fans and had Danny and Lindsay get married and have a baby. Yes, that is a lot of ands. We do not know if either of them have survived the drive-by that ended the Season Finale. I read somewhere both the actors that play their roles have resigned their contracts so I believe they survived. Although you never know. I will say this: Ed Asner was nominated for an Emmy for his guest role as a Nazi posing as a Jewish person. By far, that was some of the best acting and best writing I have seen in any of the three CSI's. Mr. Asner deserves the nomination and I believe he will probably win it, too.
Bones: Sometimes it feels like FOX isn't giving it the attention it deserves but that is not the case. Fox renewed Bones this past spring not for one season but an unprecedented TWO seasons. I got hooked on this show just this year. I wish I realized what I was missing. It has a terrific mix of Romance, action and humor. The chemistry between Special Agent Seeley Booth(played by Buffy/Angel alum David Boreanaz) and Temperance Brennan(played by Emily Deschanel) is very palpable. One might argue some of the best chemistry on TV between two characters. The rest of the cast make nerds look so cool. The season finale stirred such emotions the creators are now very careful about spoilers. The season finale to me was fantastic. I loved the alternate universe and I loved the final 2 minutes. Yes, Booth and Brennan may or may not have had sex but I think it was the writers way of giving something to the fans and changing the dynamic just a little bit to make that scene a reality someday. Like a peak into the future.
House: I have loved Hugh Laurie since I first caught site of him on the British comedy Black Adder. I actually started watching it because my husband was a bigger fan than I was but he couldn't take the blood. From there, I was hooked. The show was so smart and funny. Laurie's portrayal of House is brilliant. I love the chemistry between House and Wilson. While it follows a fairly episodic formula, anything could happen. When Kutner committed suicide this season, it was so unexpected. And I am so curious as to how they are spinning the whole House being committed thing.
Fringe: Brilliant new show. I love how the episodes are connected but still separate. I cannot say too much about this one as I am not all the way through it. TIVO is storing it safe and sound!
Ok, my brain is mushy so I will continue this diatribe tomorrow. So far nothing is leaving TIVO...